In my humble opinion motherhood world is a one complicated bitch. It’s really a mixture of joyous celebration with generous dashes of dramas. For me as a mom, drama involving kids tantrum is bearable. What I can’t take? a drama with other mothers. What I hate even more? drama with perfect ‘mother’ strangers, especially when it happens in the middle of me dealing with the kid’s tantrum.
I get it. It’s in your motherhood instinct when you find a child crying and whining you just need to put your nose in and get involved. Here’s the news that may surprise you: you are making it worst.
While I am grateful for mother who has always stepped in with good intention to help when find me or another mother overwhelmed by the tantrums, frankly speaking not many come with really truly good intention at all (just a pep talk bs-kind of thing). Many will offer unwanted suggestions.
I am summing up few cases that I have encountered personally, which include some forbidden lines that I think you should not say to me when I am handling kid’s tantrum:
1. I was at a mall, standing there with K who was just a little baby crying unconsolably. I stood there while looking for a place to sit down and nurse. At the time nursing room was not commonly available in malls. I found some comments were so stupid:
“Aaah what’s happening?” with super-caring tone that failed to impress. She knows what was happening. A baby was crying.
“Maybe she’s hungry”
“Maybe she’s tired”
“Maybe she’s sleepy”
2. Little A was throwing his usual tantrum. He wanted me to carry him in my arms but at the same time I was carrying my purse, laptop bag, his school bag, a laundry bag, we were standing outside at the parking lot, the sun was super hot and I was about to throw my own tantrum, if that was even allowed. Certainly the next person who passed us by felt obligated to intercept with
“why are you crying?”
“why is he crying?”
“He is probably hungry”
“Did you fall?”
“Is he sick?”
You know, I would be very grateful if, in case number 1, instead of only asking question and walk away you help me find the perfect spot to sit and nurse. I would be very grateful if, in case number 2, instead of talking and talking you offer me to carry some of my stuff so that I can handle my whining kid better.
I don’t know about you but for me, I prefer to be left alone when I have to handle my kid’s tantrum in public. If I need help I will definitely ask.
PS: I am joining IBOT today over at Jess’s. Go check her awesome Tuesday link up.