It was quite a stressful night. I came home from work a bit late and just as soon as I entered the house my mom told me that K has hurt our neighbor son. Her tone as she was reporting this sounded that she already decided it was K’s fault. So I talked to K and asked him what happened. He told me he had scratched that boy because that boy had pulled him to the ground because he wanted to take his toys back from K. The reason he pulled K to the ground was because K wasn’t ready to let go of that toy.
Bottom line it was a fight over toys.
I have told K that it was good to stand for himself, but on the other note he shouldn’t keep other people’s toys. If he was playing with someone else’s toy and that someone wanted to take it back then he should let him take it.
To stand for yourself is okay, if anyone punches you then you should punch him back. I know it sounds so violent but I don’t want my children to be bullied for not being able to stick up for himself. One thing that myself and J has always stressed upon is to never start a fight in the first place.
My problem now is with my mom.
When she heard the story came out from K’s mouth she sounded enraged because K wouldn’t tell her this before. She had probably questioned him harshly because like I said, to her, if anything violent happens around my boys it should always be my boys fault.
K and little A fight every now and then. One minute they would play together, loving each other, and next one of them would scream and the fight begins. Then, one would start crying and after sometimes they would play each other again. It is a cycle that I am too familiar with and I think it is normal. They are boys.
My mom has based her overall judgement about my boys on this and always blames me for their behavior.
I have seen so much worse. But my mom was really a piece of work. She used to tell K that he was a sociopath and that we needed to take him to psychiatric! I strongly asked her not to say such thing anymore because if she kept saying that K would probably think that he was indeed one.
So yeah…I felt really bad about the other kid and will probably see his parent to apologize. Regardless whose fault that was, I just want to make a peace. Dealing with a mom who is full of judgement is already enough for me.
Do you have any advise how to handle when your 5 years old boy is put up a fight with your neighbor’s kid and your boy ends up hurting the other kid?