As a musician by heart I have tons of favorite song at every stage of my life. With too many to choose from it would be hard for me to write about a single song that I have favored during my senior high. However if talking about a theme song, a song that represented my love life in that particular stage of life I have one. Please pay attention because today I am revealing the story of my first love just for you.
The song is a local one sang by a legendary singer, the late Chrisye. The title is Untukku (For Me).
Wherever I go, your shadow follows
I believe with all my heart, you are never replaceable
Take a look at the sparkling stars you are never hidden away
Wherever you are, there is my love
Even though you go to the end of the road I will be waiting
Even though you go to the seventh ocean I will definitely be waiting
Because I believe you are only for me
Only for me
Somehow this song was popular during the period where I was ‘seeing’ this special guy from my school. He was tall with fair complexion, strong build and friendly face.
It was raining when first time I was aware of him. We were all waiting for the rain at a small café across the street, near our school. He made a small talk with me, calling my name and that time all the way the conversation I couldn’t stop thinking “who is he? Why he knows my name?”. Later on I learnt he was my classmate. The school has just started. The class was shuffled and I hadn’t learnt about all my classmates yet.
From then on we began to become friend. He asked my number and we started calling each other every alternate days. And then soon after we started going together. To the mall, to the movies, sometimes with other friends sometimes just the two of us. He would pick me up after school. He took me to places like language course or basketball practice. The whole school thought we were a couple, but between us there had never been a statement or anything more than I missed you.
I fell in love with him but until now I had never got the clarity whether he had ever loved me at all.
Yes, I was too afraid to tell him about my feeling. I was scared he wouldn’t have the same feeling. In the end everything was just so overwhelming. He moved out of school to pursue his dream. After one year and a half the calls finally stopped. And I heard he was starting to be so closed with another girl.
When he forgot my birthday, I knew it was the end.
At this moment I had another theme song that best represented my feeling:
I still remember our last conversation. We were driving around in his car. He was asking me why I stopped talking with him unaware that he had forgotten my special day. I finally gathered myself to ask him where we stood. He said we were best friends and would always be best friends forever. The next week, I was on a train moving on with my heart joining a college miles away from the town.
And that is how my first love ended.
He was right after all. We were best friends indeed. And we still are.
Do you think he ever loved me?