My husband and I have stayed in separate city on the first two and half years of our marriage. He took a better job in the city miles away from our – then- home when I was 6 months pregnant with our first son. Was it hard? Yes it was. Both of us worked and because I had had a bond of contract with my -then- company I could not move out to be with him. So there we were living our marriage in separate home and only saw each other two days every month.
At the beginning it wasn’t really a big deal. I had a busy job and was on my way to have a baby. I had no time to think lonely and such. Of course I had missed my husband so bad. I was so used to do almost everything together with him and when he wasn’t really around anymore I had to do everything by myself. He used to drive me to work, go pay the bills and we used to go everywhere together like an inseparable twin. Having to live my day without him was like flying with a broken wing.
But I survived. We survived. Times flew and I was pregnant with our second son. Then things had started to exhaust me. Not physically but mentally. There were nights when I needed someone to hold me tight and I only found an empty space on the other side of my bed. There were times when I was down and I couldn’t talk to my husband because he was busy at work. Actually we were very busy as both of us were in the management role in our company. Hence we didn’t have a lot of time nor mood to be chit-chatty during the day over the phone. In the evening, our moods had drained our energy and we were left with so-so conversation, the kind of those cliche thingy: how’s your day, what did you do and so on.
The overwhelming life of long distance marriage started to take it’s toll on me when I got a postoperative hematoma after giving birth to my second son. It involved two hours driving (back and forth) from my house to my doctor’s clinic to treat the scar every alternate days. That and topped with the fact that I still had to work because my maternity leave was over.
Not long after the treatment completed son number 1 got viral infection that had caused him to be hospitalized for one week. Soon afterwards he got dengue fever which luckily didn’t make him spending a night in the hospital but had made me very cautious to go through his critical moment on the fifth day of fever. Sadly to say that I had to go through all of those situation without my husband by my side.
So when my husband got a job offer overseas I decided to quit my job to be able to join him. Living in separate city was already too much to bear let alone to live in a separate country. By this time I have had the courage to talk to my boss and with some special conditions they let me go before my contract finished.
I can not say that things have been pretty easier since we live under the same roof. However the fact that all of us can be together and the kids can now see their dad everyday, I think my decision is worthwhile.
When I decided to move overseas with him I had never intended to be a stay at home mom. The plan was once we settled in the new place I would find a job. But the longer time I spend with my boys and the more joy blogging is giving me, I have become a little bit lazy to start looking for a new job. So right now my career is taking a backseat. I will put it back to the front seat when the time is right.
Now, while I totally get it that quitting a job and move out to be with the husband could sound a bit too extreme sometimes it is just what we need to do. Nevertheless I also realize there are other things that can be done to encounter the loneliness and ups and downs for being living separately with our loved ones. If you are in a long distance marriage, how do you cope? If you aren’t, how do you think you will cope if you are in that situation? Write a post about it and link back here. Don’t forget to leave a comment so I can visit and read your post.
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