Weekend has arrived everybody! Friday is the most celebrated day for moms in every part of the world. It is the beginning of the weekend which means a break from routine of waking up early, making breakfast or preparing lunch box, this is especially for moms with pre-schoolers. Yeiy! That feeling in high school when we were so happy not having to attend school on weekend has come back. So, let’s start with a happy mood today by reading the hillarious of top 10 most embarassing parenting moments from Olivia, a writer who is also a mother of two.
We’ve all judged the parents of that screaming kid at the supermarket in our childless days, but once we have kids that’s just par for the course. Sometimes, it seems that parenting is a race for perfection in which we have to boast to our friends (and random people on the internet!) about our successes. The thing is, though most of us do our best, there is no such thing as perfect parenting… and there are no perfect kids either.
These are my top 10 most embarrassing parenting moments. My two kids are five and two, so I am sure there are many more challenges ahead. Some things that made me blush or want to scream were actually really funny afterwards, while others just stay embarrassing forever. Here goes…
1. We moved abroad when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Embarrassing parenting moments really do start while you’re still suffering from pregnancy signs and symptoms! As the plane took off, my morning sickness, which had been gone for a while, came back with a vengeance. I threw up on the lady sitting next to me. She was so nice about it. She didn’t have a change of clothes on board, but thankfully it was “only” a four-hour flight. I still shudder when I think about it.
2. My firstborn baby fell off my bed, where she was napping, when she was two months old. I was struggling with laundry as I heard her scream. When I walked in, the tiny thing was on the floor. Of course I was terrified and ran to the doctor right away. She was fine, but I learned to never let her sleep on the bed unsupervised again – I had no idea she could roll over.
3. My daughter, who was two years old and potty training at the time, attended the homebirth of my son. During the pushing stage, that horrible thing where you poop as you push happened to me. “It’s OK, mummy, accidents happen,” the sweet girl said. The midwife laughed loudly. Remind me to get an enema before my next birth!
4. “Mummy, do birds have bowels? How do they poop?” might seem like a normal question for a four-year old, but my angel decided that a crowded bakery was the best spot to come up with this gem, so loudly that everyone could hear it. We’re vegetarian, and my curious two-year old decided to do a nice follow-up: “So, people who eat chicken eat poop, too?” Oops!
5. My two-year old boy recently told the babysitter that he likes to stick stuff up his bum. And it’s true! He’s put grass up there, had a go at hair pins and was extremely upset when I took them off him, and puts his fingers in there. When asked why, he says he wants to see if things can go up there as well as out if it.
6. We can’t go grocery shopping without my five-year old daughter asking where the “nappies for mummies” are. Yep, she is talking about menstrual pads. Sometimes, when she notices me getting the pads out, she’ll proudly proclaim to a stranger on the bus that mom is using nappies right now.
7. My little son got one of those electric shocks when I touched him as he was riding in a shopping trolley. He spent the rest of the shopping trip shouting loudly, “No, don’t HURT me again, mummy HURTS me! Noooo!” We got some really nasty looks.
8. A friend who had her baby by c-section explained to my daughter that the doctor makes an incision in the tummy to help the baby out. My kid’s reply? “I don’t want to be cut open with a knife! I want to give birth like mummy, and the baby comes out of HERE!”. She was, of course, pointing to her lady parts as she said it.
9. Another friend made a comment about a pair of jeans making her look fat. After that, my son started pointing at plus-sized people, calling them fat. It was, actually, one of his first words. Ironically, the word that he mastered before that was “chocolate”.
10. A canvasser from a political party came to our house. My five year old spent 20 minutes asking the poor lady how signing a petition can change the world, telling her that writing about corruption in the government is a much better idea. Her mum is a journalist, and she knows better.
Have a great weekend everyone!