Last year when I decided to quit my job to join my husband overseas everybody said I was crazy. Those who knew my record in doing household jobs (which errr…ZERO..by the way) doubted my ability to be a housewife and a full time mom. I did not even use to make my own bed back then and practically relied on the three housemaids I had to do the house-keeping, the cooking and taking care my children while I was working. I even had questioned myself once whether I was going to be doing just fine with all the changes. The truth is it was such a very challenging experience in dealing with my new life as an expat who is a stay at home mom.
It took me some times to get familiar with the household works. Also with the two toddler boys hang around with me, I was overwhelmed! The first three months I arrived in this country whose name I have never heard before, not until my husband got a job here, I got a Dysfunctional Bleeding. I know, it sounds so scary! It is an abnormal genital tract bleeding based in uterus in the absence of organic disease.
I got it for three months. First it was just irregularity of my periods. On the next month the bleeding got more intensed and longer. When the third months the blood became red and fresh, I got a bit worried and finally paid a visit to a gynaecologist. After a physical examination, a blood test and an ultra sound check she told me that everything was normal and the bleeding was triggered by a stress. Wow! I did not even realise that I was that stressed!
The bleeding stopped after she gave me one injection on my hip. But of course the injection would not take away my stress. I should take the responsibility to get rid of it myself. So here are the things that I am doing to keep me surviving of being an expat stay at home mom:
Stay connected. I don’t mean to be engaged 24/7 with my WiFi connection, but to stay connected with all my friends and family back home. My Blackberry and my Facebook account have been doing such a great job to keep me surviving the loneliness.
Find actual friends. I have lots of friend but at the moment they come to me in virtual ones as no one is really staying in my current neighbourhood. So I kind of worry that one day I may loose my ability to talk to real human beings. Without trying to sound desperate (although I AM desperate enough to find a new friend to whom I can talk to eye to eye, and not through a webcam) I am revealing my great effort of finding a friend such as: – Join a community network. I found this interesting site http://expat-blog.com and join the one in my region. It is so delightful to find some mothers feel the way I feel (not in a mean way LOL) and to my surprise, most of them stay in my neighbourhood. Although most of them don’t check their blog or email that often (thus their response takes looooooong time) I am happy to have the possibility to get to know them. There is a lead to do a morning coffee meet and greet by the end of this month, let see whether it will be happening!; –Visit a playground or park. As I currently stay in a desert country, outdoor playground or park is really not a good idea especially during summer time. Luckily our apartment is just next to the complex’s swimming pool. As a matter of fact, we have the pool view through one of our balcony. It is one place to meet other mothers who are taking their children for swimming; –Enroll in a pre-school. I am not talking to enroll myself in a pre-school (although it does sound interesting, to play all day long!). I enrolled my 3 years old son in the summer class of a preschool two weeks ago in the hope that not only he would have friends at his age but also I could meet and be friend with the other parents too.
Go outside. The best place to meet people is not inside the house. That is why I always go outside (mostly to the mall) whenever I can.
Get a hobby and do it with all my heart. I am always interested in writing. I started blogging last year and now I have started doing it pro. It keeps my spirit alive and even from this I can get new friends. I have found a blog community recently, www.blogfrog.com which has very cool features. Can’t wait to do more with it.
If you ask me whether any of the above points has given me a significant result, sadly I must say that they haven’t. I met a woman couple of months ago and we have developed our interaction into “hi” and “byes” and “how are you” but when I was back from a one month holiday at my home country, she was gone. Maybe moved to other country, not sure.
My next move would be to get back on a career path. But right now, I am still busy holidaying in my motherhood world and counquering daily challenges as an expat stay at home mom.